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Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Ahhh…I can’t make up my mind!

A couple of years ago I would have thought it would be the coursework for my rising 9th grader keeping me up at night.  He’ll be doing high school level work.  That’s supposed to be scary, right?!

I’m not worried about him

I’m stuck over what to do with my two youngest kids next year.

My ideal is not possible…and God's vision for our homeschool is sometimes hard to see.  Homeschooling Hearts & MindsWhy is that?

As kids get older, they are capable of taking more and more responsibility for their own education.  My oldest may not know exactly what he wants to do when he grows up, but he is very aware of his own current interests, strengths, and limitations.

Not only can he offer me valuable input, he can actually choose (at least partially) his own path. 

Plus, it is easier to see how to get to where you are going when the path in front of you is only a few years.  It’s not a question of doing all the stuff.  It’s a question of working on any weak areas and covering high school level content.  It’s a question of getting ready for the next step (probably college, definitely becoming an independent adult) and seeing what needs to be done in order to make that step.

I also know that regardless of what he does for “school,” he is continually filling in his own knowledge base by pursuing interests outside of whatever I’ve got planned for him.

My 2nd oldest has also developed ideas about what she wants to study and how.  Choosing materials for her has simply been a matter of finding tools for her to accomplish her own goals, plus helping her to shore up any weak skill areas.

There’s also the fact that, learning-wise, she’s my easy kid.  She will dutifully do whatever is given to her, and she will learn regardless of what materials we use.

But then we come to the 3rd and 4th children.

The troublemakers. Winking smile

The path before them is soooo long.  They do give me input, but the truth is that right now their education is Mama’s responsibility.  I make the choices.

Awhile back I talked about finding your homeschool vision and using that to help you to see how to meet your goals.  It should make it easier to decide.

Should.

But there are still sooo many choices. 

And it’s really not a question of deciding what to buy---it’s a question of deciding what to use among all the different available choices that are sitting on my shelves already.

It’s about knowing what a bad homeschool year looks and feels like and wanting to avoid it.

It’s about knowing my own limitations when it comes to getting certain types of activities done.

It’s about having an ideal vision and knowing that you can’t have the ideal.

It’s about accepting my own imperfections and embracing those of my kids.

My ideal is not possible

…and God’s vision for us is hard for me to see.

There are so many good possibilities, but I want my children to have what is best for them. 

I admit it.  I don’t know what that is right now.

I keep getting small inklings of it, like whispers on the wind or tiny tugs at my heartstrings.  Little twinges.

Is it that God isn’t speaking plainly enough or that I’m so mired in my earthly existence that I can’t hear?

So, while others are posting about this year’s plans, this blog has been silent.

My plans have changed so many times in the past few months… I’m sick of thinking about it.

Smile with tongue out

It’s ok, though.  It’s mid-July and we would normally be starting up in full force in a month, but I’m not panicking.

Instead, I’m working on reorganizing my home (big, big project).  And cleaning out the real, physical clutter that resides there. 

During that process, I’m finding that it’s easier to shed some of the real, mental clutter that resides in my mind.

It’s been good to step back from my homeschool and this blog.  It’s easier to see them both more clearly.  I expect to share with you a more focused vision shortly.

So, tell me: 

Have you ever had to step back from your vision to see it more clearly?

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