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Tuesday, July 23, 2013

My Imperfect Life

If we all know that life is messy, why do we pretend it isn’t?  And why do we get criticized when we openly admit it?  Homeschooling Hearts & Minds

Everything I post here is just a snapshot of a small part of my life.  I try my best to be authentic, but nobody’s going to truly know another person unless she walks in her shoes for a bit.

I frequently see criticisms of homeschool bloggers. 

Some people think we make it look too nice, easy, and perfect, with our pin-able pics, little printables and perfectly organized homeschool rooms.

Or the exact opposite---we’re too gritty, too real.  We are harming our children when we admit to the world their weaknesses and our own.

Last week I admitted to a group of irl friends that I was still in my pajamas and had swimsuits and towels that had been on the outside line for a couple of days because every time I thought to bring them in it was raining. 

Apparently “pajama schooling” and rain-drenched swim things are pretty common in real life.  We had a laugh.

And it was this that I was thinking about when I snapped that picture above.  That’s what my yard really looked like yesterday.  Yep, the Glads are falling down, the cucumbers are growing into the path, the swimsuits have been hanging there for over 24 hours, the grass needs mowing (it’s mostly crab grass and clover, so it never gets high), and I do allow volunteer plants to pop up anyway and everywhere.

 009

I’m curious.  I’m not a botanist---maybe it’ll be something pretty I want to keep, so I wait and see.  Am I weird?

The truth is, I don’t have time for everything.  I have a privacy fence around my yard.  It’s over 90 degrees outside.  Nobody else needs to see my mess, and so why should I give myself a heat stroke over it?

Oh, wait, I just showed it to you. Winking smile

When it cools off a bit, I’ll clean things up.  But the point is that life in general is not “presentable” all the time.  In fact, life is generally very messy.  We just stop to clean up periodically so that it doesn’t become chaotic and completely unmanageable. 

It’s when it becomes unmanageable that we know it really is a problem. 

If you have small children, you know this---it simply does not matter how many times you sweep the floor each day, there will be crumbs, and you will step on them in your bare feet (unless you have a dog to lick them up).  It doesn’t make sense to spend the energy to sweep the floor 4-5 times in the ordinary course of a day if the end result is the same if you sweep it once after lunch and once before bed. 

I do, of course, clean up “true” messes right away.

003

My Glads 4 days ago---you see the difference a few days makes?  We’re not talking neglect here (although if someone had been in my yard yesterday, they might suspect that).  We’re talking not being at the beck and call of garden plants.  Because sometimes there are more pressing needs.

I almost wrote a post over the weekend with pictures of the garden.  I wanted to show it off.  Maybe I’m a show off.

006Tomatoes and Cukes

And I remember taking these pictures in such a way that I cut out any “undesirables,” like telephone wires and bird poop.  I even pulled some weeds.

007More Cukes, Peppers, Basil, and Cilantro

And then in just a few days of heat and exhaustion, it all looked a mess.  And it occurred to me that what mattered was not a pristine garden. 

If we all know that life is messy, why do we pretend it isn’t?  And why do we get criticized when we openly admit it?

People don’t really connect over pristine gardens.  They connect over discovering that they have things in common.  Real things.  Not photo ops.

4 comments:

  1. You nailed it! The typical life of a homeschooler is never as "perfect" as most blogs portray because, well, who portrays the imperfect stuff. Thanks for sharing yours with us and letting us see the "real-ness" of you.

    TaMara

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  2. Thanks, TaMara. It's a little unnerving putting yourself out there, I need all the back-pats I can get. ;)

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  3. Despite falling over, your glads are still gorgeous. I always have to prop ours up, and we rarely have more than one blooming at the same time.

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  4. Thank you, Jennifer. I take no credit for the Glads---the previous own of our home was bulb happy and I never know what's going to pop up next (surprises are fun sometimes).

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