Pardon my random thoughts, I’m working through a virus-induced fog.
Last week my entire family was sick, except for me. This week they are still sick and so am I.
But at least they are on the mend (sort of?), and perhaps with enough prayers, vitamin C, and positive thinking I can beat this thing.
The past few weeks have been hard and we’ve been feeling a little dysfunctional. Being sick didn’t help that, but I think it pushed us to reflect on our health as a family.
It was too easy to put it down to “growing pains” or Peter’s special needs. It was really attractive to think: oh, they will grow out of it!
Don’t get me wrong, we basically have a good, stable family life, and I don’t think that I’m raising juvenile delinquents or anything. But there’s something lacking, and we are tired of settling for “good enough.” With a lot of prayer and self- reflection, we’re figuring it out. Things can be much better. It’s time to stop looking around at who to blame and work on ourselves.
Some concrete things I am doing (because as Yoda says, there is no try, only do):
- Loving on my loved ones more. Never assume that your kiddos feel that you love them unconditionally. What we know in our heads is not always felt in our hearts. I know this from my personal experience, but it’s a cycle that’s hard to break.
- Doing more fun stuff with the kids because life shouldn’t be dry and boring.
- Accepting our children as children rather than looking to the future adults we would like them to become.
- More time outside in the fresh air (though that may need to wait until everyone’s feeling better since it got cold again).
- Spending less time in front of the computer.
- Appreciating the now instead of obsessing over the future. This is hard, because my latest obsession has been next year’s curricula (don’t ask me about this year’s curricula).
So, if it gets a little quiet here on the old blog over the coming weeks, you will know why. It’s because I’m busy doing other more important things. Not that y’all aren’t important to me, but there’s a proper time and place for everything.
By the way, the reason there have been so few pictures on the blog lately (the pictures I posted last week were actually a couple of weeks old) is because I purposely let the rechargeable batteries in the camera run down without recharging them. Huh? You went a whole week with no camera?
Peter had developed an obsession with having pictures taken of his food. After. Every. Single. Bite. For every single meal. And every single snack. I have hundreds of files of partially eaten oatmeal. And rearranged trail mix. And so on. Because he had become fixated on “remembering” exactly what the food looked at every stage. He was stuck.
Since I deal with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder myself, I know how painful it is to be stuck. You simply can’t help yourself, even when you know it’s irrational. While it was harmless for a digital camera, and only annoying for me, it was clearly harmful to Peter. He simply could not eat unless I had taken a picture of his food. The compulsion was too strong and it was ruling his little life.
So I let the camera become non-functional and he had to accept that I couldn’t take any pictures (when the camera was functioning, if I simply refused to take the picture, he would have a violent fit or refuse to eat his food, and I avoid lying to my children, so it needed to not be working). I was afraid he would have non-stop freakouts and refuse to eat, but that didn’t happen. He did start sucking on his fingers more (but he was also getting sick, so that may explain the oral fixation), but that seems to be lessening, now. The pictures of the food thing is forgotten.
Now to recharge the batteries…where did I put that battery charger?
Emma’s contribution (sometimes random keystrokes add up to something): ,m,mmjkmjkmjokjmkojmokokjojkjoojkkojokjkojkojkkjokmljlp llp pllpppoLp plplOp Oppppl;k’/;l;[;llllllllllpool jjjjk jgh
Other randomness you might enjoy: