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Thursday, September 30, 2010

30 Days to a Kinder Family

Do you ever feel like your children don't appreciate anything you give them? Do you ever get on your high horse and get all miffed because they don't bow down to you when you tell them what to do?

The whining and complaining and moaning and being generally nasty to each other whenever they get the chance is very old. And the kids are pretty unpleasant at times, too.

It's not just the weather, you know.

Although the weather is a bit crummy just now, what with the flood warnings and all.

It's funny how you pray for rain all summer and it doesn't come...and when it finally does come it's overwhelms you and threatens to carry you away.

A little like life, don't you think?

So, I had this thunderbolt in my brain...ok, I admit it, I'm a little slow. My kiddos don't appreciate what they have because they don't know what they have. They have too much.

But they also have not enough.

As many privileges and creature comforts as they have, they often don't have my full attention. I could blame that on my ADD brain, but I really need to work harder to stay in the moment and be fully present for them.

And they don't have each other's respect. Wanting our children to be in an environment that is supporting and loving is part of the reason we homeschool and we are failing a little in that respect. They know they are loved. But they are not feeling the love.

So we are both pulling in the reins a bit and working on quality time around here. We need to develop kinder habits as a family.

The first thing we are doing is taking away computer/video games, movies, any kind of video stimulation for the children. And computer time for mom during the day. Indefinitely. We'll be simultaneously focusing on how to speak to one another with kindness and understanding. And genuinely hearing each other. It takes practice.

Being mean or rude is a much a habit as picking your nose, really. Or wiping your mouth on your sleeve (yep, my boys do that, they are barbarians, sigh). There's absolutely no reason we can't make good habits to replace the bad ones, but it's going to take a big effort, so pray for us.

And tell me, what is your #1 tip for creating a loving environment in your household?

8 comments:

  1. Yikes - I could have written this. I know things have to change around here. Good ideas about the video things. I'm interested to see where this leads.

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  2. We are starting a No TV month (no Videos too) tomorrow. Sounds like you are doing something similar!

    Hope it goes well!

    Blessings
    Mrs. White

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  3. Mmm, I have a boy-barian too. Sigh.

    My best tip for peace and harmony in the home is to play music softly in the background that is quiet, calming, or uplifting. I like hymns, children's hymns, nature cds, etc. I need to do it more often!

    No TV? Yeah, it must be in the air - we're cutting out a lot of video time this week. Not all of it, but most.

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  4. Yep, no TV. We don't actually watch programming...we don't have an antenna, cable, satellite, whatever. But we do occasionally watch movies and videos (the kids like old episodes of the Muppet show:-). But "occasionally" has become "expected." Time to cut back.

    And you would not believe the number of times they asked me to do computer games today...we do limit it to about 1/2 hour per day after the school work is done, but it's the expectation and anticipation, it's like a drug.

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  5. What great ideas. We took away TV when our oldest were very small. It took a while for them and for me to adjust but then it was great! I feel we have sunk back into the computer and video thing far too much now.

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  6. I can't wait to follow this idea. Please keep us posted on how this is going!

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  7. We just took away all video games. I am thinking I like your plan. I blogged about our reasons.
    emptymelord.blogspot.com
    Mrs. Mandy

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